Sharon Selby

Many of you have already received an e-mail about this, but for the rest of you who either didn't get an e-mail or haven't read it yet, I wanted to let everyone know that a very close friend of my family's, Sharon Selby, passed away on Tuesday, November 15, 2005 around 11:30 AM. She had recently had several health problems and was in a sort of hospice care for the last few days of her life. I personally have not taken this news very well and have been struggling with this the past few days. After talking with my uncle Tim shortly yesterday, he suggested that I write about it, and that's what I've decided to do. I'm writing about all the good memories, and I hope this will cheer me up and help me, and the others who knew her, feel happier and more at ease.

For those of you who don't know who Sharon was, she was a very dear friend of my mom's, and was actually very helpful in getting my parents to meet. Sharon and my mom met when my mom was in college at the University of Tennessee, which was over 20 years ago. They became very good friends and stayed friends despite the fact that Sharon moved to Morristown, TN (about an hour and a half away). My parents were married soon after, and Sharon, of course, was one of my mom's bridesmaids. I was born the next year, and obviously don't remember much from that time, and the next two years for that matter. I have seen pictures of that time and heard some stories, and found out that Sharon visited us for birthdays, holidays, etc. One picture that really comes to mind was one of Sharon, Greg (another very close family friend), and myself in our downstairs "family room." The three of us were playing with toys and stuffed animals, and there is a picture of the three of us on a couch, all wearing stuffed animals as hats. (Apparently I was a rather humorous child!!) Some time in between the time I was born and the time I was about three, Sharon moved out to Nashville, TN (about 4 hours away), and again despite the distance, she and my mom remained very good friends.

Sometime around when I was three (it might have been four), my mom and I (not sure if Dad was there) went out to Nashville to visit Sharon. I don't remember anything about this trip, but I have heard stories and seen the pictures. We traveled all around Nashville seeing some historical sites. A couple in particular included the Tennessee Capitol Building and the Parthenon, which are both prominent buildings in Nashville. We actually have some pictures of the three of us on the steps of these, which I got to see not too long ago. The only other major detail that I remember hearing about this trip was that I drew Sharon a picture while we were staying with her, which she in turn hung on her refrigerator. According to Sharon herself, in one of the most recent times she visited us, that picture was still hanging there, and this was about five years ago. I would not be surprised if it was still there, considering she practically treasured that drawing!

After that visit, I have no recollections of any other visits until about five years later (I was either seven or eight, but I'm not too sure). This time however, she was the one who visited us. Sharon's favorite holiday had always been, and remained to this day, Thanksgiving, because of family getting together and all the wonderful foods we got to share. Now, Sharon had very little family, and the only family I know of that was still alive at that time was her aunt Wanda (whom everyone called Vange), so we were essentially family to her. My mom invited her to spend Thanksgiving with us that year, and Sharon accepted that offer. At the time, I had no recollections of her, and as far as I knew, this was the first time I had ever met her. We had a lot of fun that year, and I really enjoyed having Sharon around. She brought lots of fun and mentally engaging games, and I really had a lot of fun with them. She also helped cook Thanksgiving dinner, and introduced my family, or at least my brother and myself, to squash casserole, which turned out to be very good. It then became a nice tradition thereafter to have Sharon over every Thanksgiving, and I enjoyed that tradition.

The next couple of years, Sharon had been having her aunt stay with her during the holidays. This time, my parents invited both Sharon and her aunt for Thanksgiving, and they both accepted. This was most probably the first time I had ever met Vange, and she was a very enjoyable person. She played all the games with us and helped with dinner, and we all enjoyed her company. Also during those visits, we found out that every Thanksgiving morning while Sharon was in town, she would go to a fox hunt that was about an hour away. Sharon was really into horses, so this was really her kind of thing. She was always so excited about it, and loved the fact that she could go to it while she was with us. For the longest time we never went to those, since it came so early in the morning. But, one year when we were a little older, we decided to go with her. It was very early in our opinion (I think it was around 6 or 7 AM) but we really wanted to go. It was like I said around an hour drive, but it was a really nice drive through the country. We got to the site and watched all the people get their horses ready and ride around a little. I remember that it was very cold, but we tried to stay as warm as we could. Finally around an hour later, the people set out on the hunt. (Now in this sense, a fox hunt didn't actually include foxes, since that was forbidden. Really what they did was ride around with the other riders and have an enjoyable time.) It was a great experience for us, since we had really seen nothing like it. I believe there were pictures of this also, but I haven't encountered any of those yet.

Sometime during these visits I just mentioned, Sharon brought us our very first computer. It was one of the first Dells with an early form of Windows, Windows 3.1. Sharon was always upgrading her computers, and instead of selling the old ones or throwing them away, she gave them to us. This became another "tradition" over the years, and we received a total of three computers from her. This computer just blew our minds; we had never had one of our own, and back then I had maybe only seen a very old-fashioned one in school. We quickly began to play the games on that computer, and I think at times we would have contests with Sharon to see who could get the highest scores. Again we played more of those fun games, and this was supplemented with the "new" computer games. Sharon was highly knowledgeable about computers, and taught me most of what I know now. She then took it upon herself to teach us as much as possible about our new computer, and I caught on the fastest of my entire family. It then became a running thing between the two of us to discuss technology and troubleshooting our new computer problems.

After one of those first times both Sharon and her aunt visited for Thanksgiving, I think I suggested that we should have them over for other holidays. We suggested Christmas of that year, and they both accepted again. It then became a tradition to have one or both of them for Thanksgiving and Christmas, or at least one of those holidays. So now we were seeing her twice a year for the holidays, and it was great to have her around then. Again, we played more games at Christmastime, but then we also enjoyed all the Christmas traditions that I have come to cherish. We got to go shopping for my family, and this time we added Sharon and Vange to our lists. As always, we picked out gifts at Wal-Mart and the Dollar Store and were given a certain budget for our gifts. I enjoyed picking all those out, wrapping them, and watch everyone open them on Christmas morning. Then it became a tradition for Sharon to come at Christmas, and I think we had about four Christmases with her, and maybe two with Vange.

Some time a couple years later, we didn't get to have a visit for Thanksgiving or Christmas. We then suggested an Easter/Spring Break visit, and Sharon and Vange again accepted. Now we had even another tradition of having them over for the holidays, but I don't think we ever had them for all three major holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter). This time it was much warmer outside, and we were able to do a lot more. One experience that I remember quite vividly was a trip we took to the Knoxville Zoo. Both Sharon and Vange wanted to go, since it was a beautiful day and we wanted to get out of the house. Vange couldn't walk for long distances, so we brought a wheelchair so that she could go around with us. I remember pushing her up and down the winding paths of the Knoxville Zoo and enjoying all the animals and exhibits. I think we did take pictures of this event, but I've not seen any of them. I do know that we had a really great time, especially Sharon and Vange. They really didn't get out too much, so it was a great experience to get out and do such a fun thing with friends.

Well, seeing as this is going to be a lot longer than I thought, I will cut this off here and continue tomorrow or Sunday. It really has been therapeutic for me somewhat, and I enjoy reminiscing about these times. Until later, please pray for my mom, myself, and all of Sharon's other friends during this time. Her friends were indeed her family, and she will be greatly missed by all.